1. |
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If and when I get them riches...
I'll send help to warsh them dishes
and take you out to see that great wide world
You got two good hands now, honey
and I'll never see that money...
You can be my rag time gal
Go on and pack my bags and warm my muffins
Lord ain't gimme me time for nuthin'
Wishin', bitchin', dickin', and a ditchin'
leave that teevee in the kitchen...
one of these days I'll come on pickin'.
Show them kids the no good they've been missin'
Ain't got no wives in Chino but, baby...
I ain't got one in Cherokee
no Idahos, no Chino Dolls, no sweet Virginias
Tell ya, we don't get into specifics
talkin' 'bout that North Pacific
Vegas I'm as vague as brown on wood
But, If and when I'm gettin' them riches...
I'll send help to warsh them dishes
and take you out to see that great wide world
But you got two good hands now, honey
and I'll never see that money...
You can be my rag time gal
Sure I got me a misses in Mississippi...
takes me dancin' down in Dixie
calls it honkey tonkin' where she come from.
But cities, country sides, or coastal, darliin'
you stop writin' and I go postal
'Sippi she don't miss me when I'm gone
If and when I get them riches...
I'll send help to warsh them dishes
and take you out to see that great wide world
But you got two good hands now, honey
and I'll never see that money...
You can be my rag time gal
oh, you can be my rag time gal
yeah... You can be my rag time hag
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2. |
Old Wild World
04:15
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A sultry summer night drips from an ice cream cone
a stampede of stilettos crawls across the cobble stone
it leaves a slew of chocolate moose and broken ankle bones
leadin' all the boys back home
And every gal in this town wears a corset
why any man on a corner's smokin' cigarettes
and anybody wants to be 'em sees 'em laughin 'til they cry
ain't nobody knows goddamn why
ain't no coinkidink not neither do I
In my mind there's been a jailbreak
where all the wicked and the damned come runnin' for the gates
I think I'd rather watch a guilty man walk...
than leave a decent man in a cage
Think it's time a good fella catch a break
you know, he's been short changed since his court date
that fella bought an umbrella
hella, someone musta telled ya....
in that old wild world it gon' rain
yeah, in that old wild world it gon' rain
Kind of Blue's on cassette in a corvette
rollin' slow courtin' silhouettes sippin' rosette
and every sad old white man's got a dirty old mind
and nobody knows goddamn why
in the wrong place at all the wrong times
He wants to take you for a ride on a sex drive
why every lass out after sunset's in a cold sweat
afraid that it's so, you've died more times than you know...
at least you wound up here
In my mind there's been a jailbreak
where all the wicked and the damned come runnin' for the gates
I think I'd rather watch a guilty man walk...
than leave a decent man in a cage
Think it's time a good fella catch a break
you know, he's been short changed since his court date
that fella bought an umbrella
hella, someone musta telled ya....
in that old wild world it gon' rain
yeah, in that old wild world it gon' rain
oh, in that old wild world it gon' rain
yeah, in that old wild world...
It gon' rain.
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3. |
Wall Drug
03:58
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You know, I don't know what I've been told
mama say don't follow no signs
but I seen this one 'bout a hundred or more times
says "get on over to wall drug".
Spent some time on that 90 line
lemme ease my restless mind
they got coffee fer a dime and a cherry pie...
Surely that'll kill ya
At Wall Drug, Wall Drug
Getcherself over to Wall Drug
'cause ain't nothin' else 'round in that dirty old town
'cept good old Wall Drug
Wall Drug, Wall Drug
Get me on down to that Wall Drug
I was feelin' spent and ain't nothin' made sense...
'Til off I went to Wall Drug
Well I've been on the road some years or so
ya know, I ain't got no home
and me and my hound wanna settle on down
ain't no place left to go...
Until I saw that shinin' light
a shootin' from my two headlights
a place to hang my hat and cool my slacks
Damn right, I call it Wall Drug
Wall Drug, Wall Drug
Shimmy on down to that that Wall Drug
'cause ain't nothin' else 'round that dirty old town
'cept good old Wall Drug
Wall Drug, Wall Drug
Gimme gimme gimme that Wall Drug
Feelin' spent and ain't nothin' made sense...
'Til off I went to Wall Drug
Them South Dakota farms never did me no harm
you know, them Badlands ain't half bad...
But gimme fiteen bucks - ah shoot, ah shucks...
I'd give it all up for Wall Drug
Get me a pack of smokes
and a new gunrack
the cheapest string of pearls
and a ten gallon hat
and a baseball bat
(for next time someone steals my girl!)
And a mustache mask
and a trusty fuzz buster
(so the police can't catch me)
and a space balloon
(just in case they do)
I'd fly up to the moon!
But, most off all just some tic tacs and knick knacs
I'm best off thinkin' small...
And ain't no one like a chick with stinky lips
you know who to call!
Call Wall Drug, Wall Drug
Get along mama to Wall Drug
'cause ain't nothin' else 'round that dirty old town
'Cept good old Wall Drug
Wall Drug, Wall Drug
Getcherself down to that Wall Drug
I was feelin' spent so off I went
To spend my cents at Wall Drug
Stopped to take a picture of the billboard sign
said, "35 miles to Wall Drug"
and I picked up a hitcher
she was thumbin' fer a ride
'said, "Come along mama, to Wall Drug!"
She was diggin' on me and it was plain to see
said, 'Honey, best things come in threes...
and we could be oh, so happy, you know...
you, me, and Wall Drug!"
She scootched a little closer and she whispered from afar
"All I do is twos"
and she opened up my door and she threw me out the car
and just screamed, "Me and Wall Drug!"
Wall Drug, Wall Drug
I never did make it to Wall Drug
and ain't nothin' else 'round that dirty old town
'Cept good old Wall Drug
Wall Drug, Wall Drug
That godforsaken Wall Drug
ain't nothin' else 'round in that dirty old town
'cept good for nothin'... godforsaken... goddamn... Wall Drug!
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4. |
Double Wide Trailer
05:12
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When I left my home...
I said goodbye to my mawr and pawr
I gots to find a place to call my own
and I wonder... bread if I'll wake up dead
it seems like easy cheese to me
And I know we ain't had much luck livin' in a
an old pickup truck
but when we had a home it was just a great big pile of wood...
Maybe a double wide trailer
do us some good
we'll get some rest - I'll smoke some meth
with you...
I wanna live in a double wide trailer
Oh, I wanna live in a mobile home
nah, a single wide just ain't enough
a triple wide's a way too much!
I wanna live in a double wide trailer
Yeah, I wanna live in a double wide trailer
Oh, I wanna live in a mobile home
I'll have one room for my hoes and guests
the other for my kids and meth
I wanna live in a double wide trailer
Oh, I wanna live in a double wide trailer
Yeah, I wanna live in a mobile home
Oh, I wanna live in a double wide
Hit my kids and beat my wife
I wanna live in a double wide trailer
I wanna live in a double wide trailer
Oh, I wanna live in a mobile home
Yeah, I'll play my tunes on the shit show tour
cook my squirrels on chicken skewers
Outside my double wide trailer
Oh, I got a hammer
wife's gotta screw - I'll nail her
abort that baby in the closet with a coat hanger
Well I'll tell that bitch, "won't see ya later"
stick my dick in mashed potaters
"Get out of my double wide trailer!"
Yeah, I wanna live in a double wide trailer
I wanna live in a mobile home
Oh, I wanna live in a double wide
Hit my kids and beat my wife
I wanna live in a dirty old trailer
I wanna live in a double wide trailer
Oh, I wanna live in a mobile home
cookin' meth just like my pops
I can't wait 'til I'm on cops!
Inside my double wide trailer
Yeah, I wanna live in a double wide trailer
Oh, I wanna live in a mobile home
tell the feds I hurt my back
spend all of their cash on crack
I wanna live in a double wide trailer
Pornstar mustache - that's my flavor savor
eat her beaver and I'll taste it later
huffin' gas out of whip cream
readin' nudie magazines
Inside my dirty old trailer
Oh, I wanna live in a double wide trailer
I wanna live in a mobile home
Yeah, I wanna live in a double wide
Hit my kids and beat my wife
I wanna live in a double wide trailer
Oh, I wanna live in a double wide trailer
Yeah, I wanna live in a mobile home...
And in the summer time we'll keep cool
I'll do my gal in a kiddie pool...
I wanna live in a double wide trailer!
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5. |
Because Tobacco
03:48
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Well...
There once was a man who said "smoke 'em if you got'em".
He held out his hands...
He had so much that I shot him
and I shoved him in the back of
my old pickup truck
'cause not even cops can stop my love for tobacco!
I don't have any friends - only smokers
but they'll be by my side 'til the end... of a butt.
And then they'll scrounge the town for tokers
pickin' stogers off the street...
When I get a pack they'll come back... for me
Well, snuffin's rough and I ain't puffin' green stuff
I'm rollin' joes, I'm suckin' squares, I'm burnin' bones
And if yer there when I'm dyin'
light me a smoke and I'll come alive again!
Because, because, because... Tobacco!
I can't keep a job because tobacco.
No, I'd break for eight and work for four
I got this big s-to-bacc-of bills
of weight I cannot shake
because today I spent my pay on tobacco!
Oh... and I am not well because tobacco
I'll be coughin' in my coffin ten feet deep
well I done forgot to eat
shucks, I don't even drink
in fact, the only thoughts I think are tobacco!
Well, snuffin's rough and I ain't puffin' green stuff
I'm rollin' joes, I'm suckin' squares, I'm burnin' bones
And if yer there when I'm dyin'
just light me a smoke and I'll come alive again!
Because, because, because... Tobacco!
I won't have a wife because tobacco.
No, it ain't that I'm too resin stained to wed
but, when I'm blowin' her
rings of smoke
about to say my vows
instead I said I love to love... Tobacco!
Yes, through trouble and strife I've always had my bogies
They get me over all the bogus things in life
like goin' to work or gettin' a job
or havin' my health, my wealth, or my wife
I owe me, I, and all of myself to tobacco!
So when you lay me in my grave...
Make sure there's a pack of tailor-mades...
I hear that heaven can hardly wait for Tobacco!
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Eli Elkus Northampton, Massachusetts
Eli Elkus is a traveling musical storyteller, songmaker, and folk activist. He began sculpting his craft as a young
troubadour fishin' for songs by the riversides and busking in the streets. And so it went... The lazy-eyed dreamer and his familiar Bronco the hound wonder wander the US byways bringing folk music to the folks, freewheelin' in their road sweet home - 'JeBus'.
elielkus@gmail.com
... more
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