You know, I don't know what I've been told
mama say don't follow no signs
but I seen this one 'bout a hundred or more times
says "get on over to wall drug".
Spent some time on that 90 line
lemme ease my restless mind
they got coffee fer a dime and a cherry pie...
Surely that'll kill ya

At Wall Drug, Wall Drug
Getcherself over to Wall Drug
'cause ain't nothin' else 'round in that dirty old town
'cept good old Wall Drug

Wall Drug, Wall Drug
Get me on down to that Wall Drug
I was feelin' spent and ain't nothin' made sense...
'Til off I went to Wall Drug

Well I've been on the road some years or so
ya know, I ain't got no home
and me and my hound wanna settle on down
ain't no place left to go...
Until I saw that shinin' light
a shootin' from my two headlights
a place to hang my hat and cool my slacks
Damn right, I call it Wall Drug

Wall Drug, Wall Drug
Shimmy on down to that that Wall Drug
'cause ain't nothin' else 'round that dirty old town
'cept good old Wall Drug

Wall Drug, Wall Drug
Gimme gimme gimme that Wall Drug
Feelin' spent and ain't nothin' made sense...
'Til off I went to Wall Drug

Them South Dakota farms never did me no harm
you know, them Badlands ain't half bad...
But gimme fiteen bucks - ah shoot, ah shucks...
I'd give it all up for Wall Drug
Get me a pack of smokes
and a new gunrack
the cheapest string of pearls
and a ten gallon hat
and a baseball bat
(for next time someone steals my girl!)
And a mustache mask
and a trusty fuzz buster
(so the police can't catch me)
and a space balloon
(just in case they do)
I'd fly up to the moon!
But, most off all just some tic tacs and knick knacs
I'm best off thinkin' small...
And ain't no one like a chick with stinky lips
you know who to call!

Call Wall Drug, Wall Drug
Get along mama to Wall Drug
'cause ain't nothin' else 'round that dirty old town
'Cept good old Wall Drug

Wall Drug, Wall Drug
Getcherself down to that Wall Drug
I was feelin' spent so off I went
To spend my cents at Wall Drug

Stopped to take a picture of the billboard sign
said, "35 miles to Wall Drug"
and I picked up a hitcher
she was thumbin' fer a ride
'said, "Come along mama, to Wall Drug!"
She was diggin' on me and it was plain to see
said, 'Honey, best things come in threes...
and we could be oh, so happy, you know...
you, me, and Wall Drug!"
She scootched a little closer and she whispered from afar
"All I do is twos"
and she opened up my door and she threw me out the car
and just screamed, "Me and Wall Drug!"

Wall Drug, Wall Drug
I never did make it to Wall Drug
and ain't nothin' else 'round that dirty old town
'Cept good old Wall Drug

Wall Drug, Wall Drug
That godforsaken Wall Drug
ain't nothin' else 'round in that dirty old town
'cept good for nothin'... godforsaken... goddamn... Wall Drug!